What a Samurai Can Teach You About Walking Away
Welcome to the dojo!
It’s an honour to welcome you to the very first edition of Fight to Flourish.
And what better way to start than looking at one of my favourite warriors in history...the samurai.
The Strongest Warrior Leaves His Sword Sheathed
When I was 17, I attempted to pour out my fascination and interest in the samurai by writing a novel called 'Soldier of Zen.' In the reading and research of the world of the samurai, I came across a Zen parable that I'm still reminded of to this day. It goes something like this...
There was an elder samurai, who had garnered a legendary reputation as a seasoned swordsman over the years. One day, when he was out with his “Genin” (feudal era serfs) tending to his land, a young samurai turned up, strode towards the elder samurai and, in front of his household, challenged him.
"I hear you've never lost a duel?" the younger samurai said. "I would see that tested against my sword, old man."
The younger samurai kept taunting, demanding a duel, and accusing the elder samurai of cowardice should he refuse. The elder samurai, who had long since learnt the value of restraint, agreed, but under one condition: they would travel together to a remote beach, where the duel would take place.
Upon reaching the shore, the younger samurai, eager and spoiling for the fight, leapt off the boat first and strode towards the beach. Happy with the spot he'd chosen for his duel, he turned to face his opponent and, to his dismay, found the elder samurai already rowing back out to sea, leaving him stranded alone on the shore.
In that moment, the young warrior was forced to confront the wisdom of his elder. Rather than engage in a pointless duel, the elder had demonstrated that true strength lies not in impulsively fighting, but in knowing when to walk away. This was not an act of disdain but of profound teaching. He had won a victory without even having to unsheathe his sword.
Just like us today, samurai were routinely tested. Fear, stress, conflict, and of course the unexpected danger of death were constant tests for a samurai warrior.
Now, we may not have people waiting to kill us every day, but there are still lessons we can apply to our modern lives. To do so, let's explore a warrior code that has stood the test of centuries: Bushido—the Way of the Warrior.
Forest Whitaker in Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai.
Bushido
The principles of martial arts are rooted in ancient traditions, but their relevance has only grown over the centuries. Bushido, often referred to as the “Way of the Warrior,” was the ethical code followed by samurai warriors in feudal Japan. It emphasised seven core virtues:
Courage
Integrity
Respect
Honour
Compassion
Honesty
Loyalty
However, Bushido was more than just a set of ideals. For samurai, it was a way of life, a lens through which one could navigate the complexities of existence. Today, the principles of Bushido can still teach us profound lessons in self-discipline, mental toughness, and purposeful living.
For this edition, we've explored courage, the first (and perhaps most critical) of Bushido’s principles. The samurai were expected to face danger without hesitation, not simply in battle but in the many trials that life presented them. This courage, however, wasn’t reckless; it was informed by wisdom. The true warrior understood when to fight and when to walk away.
For us in the modern world, how often do we face challenges that provoke us? Whether it's at work, a tense relationship with a partner, friend, or family member, or a complete stranger that antagonises us, many of us have faced a situation where we've perhaps reacted to something we shouldn't have.
The lesson here is that it’s not always necessary to fight. Sometimes, stepping back and understanding the bigger picture is the most powerful course of action.
Of course, there are times and situations where this is not possible, but I believe most conflicts are entirely avoidable.
The next time you're faced with a situation that antagonises you, before you react, ask yourself this.
In an hour's time, will I still respond in the same way?
Or will the subsiding of emotions mean your response is a lot more rational and less emotionally charged?
My money's on the latter.
In future editions, we'll be looking at the other virtues of Bushido. If you found this edition insightful, feel free to share it with a friend or colleague who may benefit from these timeless lessons.
If you've ever had a situation recently where you've had to temper your reaction and choose to step away, reply to me and let me know. I read every message.
Join us again in two weeks for more insights on how martial arts can empower your daily life.
Until then, keep fighting to flourish. Oss.