The Gift of Fear: Listening to Your Gut
Welcome to the dojo!
Following on from the destructive powers of fear in last week's edition, I wanted to look at the positive (often life-saving) powers of fear, listening to that small voice inside you that whispers, “Something isn’t right.”
The Gift
In his book The Gift of Fear, Gavin de Becker makes a bold claim: fear is not the enemy. It’s a gift.
He argues that our intuition (those flashes of unease or tension or that small voice) is our oldest survival mechanism. Long before science or civilisation, humans survived by sensing danger and acting upon that feeling.
Something as small as the sensation of being watched or the lack of prey could signal a predator was nearby, and that would be enough of a sign for early hunter-gatherers to stay away.
Unfortunately, for most of us today, we’re taught to dismiss it. To rationalise, to be polite, and most importantly, to ignore the hairs standing up on the back of our neck.
But as de Becker knows all too well, ignoring your gut can be deadly.
The Knock at the Door
I recently listened to Michael Bisping talk about an incident that happened to him when he was 18 years old. Michael Bisping went on to become a UFC middleweight champion in one of the most skilled combat sports in existence. I want you to remember that.
He was 18 years old, and after 3 nights on the trot of heavy drinking and being caught up in a fistfight with a town rival, he headed home.
As he lay on his couch watching TV, he heard what he described as a "faint knocking sound". Lowering the TV, he waited for the noise, and then it came again. A light “knock, knock, knock”.
It was just gone midnight according to Bisping when this happened, and in his reflection (which I encourage you to listen to) he asked himself one very important question.
Who would be coming to visit me at this time, and if it was someone I knew, wouldn't they be knocking louder to get my attention?
Ignoring his survival instincts, he approached the door and called out.
"Hello."
The guy behind the door responded in a muffled voice.
"Hi, it's John."
Again Bisping's survival instinct tried to warn him. He didn't know a John. The muffled voice and the light knocking were all warning signs that something sinister was behind that door.
But again, he chose to ignore it.
He opened the door.
I'm sure you can guess what happened next. Bisping was ultimately lucky. He survived. But how many others didn't or haven't when faced with such circumstances?
I won't go into the details of what happened during the attack; if you're interested, you can listen to the video.
Listen to Your Gut
You don’t have to be facing Mike Tyson in a ring or facing a serial killer to feel fear. It lives in the everyday moments:
That late-night walk where the silence feels too heavy or feels like you're being watched.
You meet a stranger whose smile feels more like a mask.
A business deal or new relationship that feels “off”, even when you can’t explain why.
We all know this feeling. But too often, we silence it in the name of politeness. De Becker is unmistakably clear about this in his book. Do not be scared to appear rude if your body is signalling fear or that something feels wrong.
The feeling of fear is sudden, sharp, and specific. It arrives once, without drama, but most importantly, it’s there to keep us alive.
The Japanese Samurai had a word for this as well. Zanshin, meaning total awareness. It was the ability to sense danger before it appears. To notice subtle shifts: weight, eyes, rhythm, the smallest signs that something was coming.
This is no different from the “gut feeling” modern psychology now affirms. It’s our oldest and most accomplished survival instinct. And by ignoring it, we run the risk of walking into danger.
Sharpening Your Instincts
Here are three practices, drawn from The Gift of Fear, all centred around sharpening your instincts and being vigilant.
Say No Early
“No” is a complete sentence. He's had thousands of conversations with women across the world to reinforce this point. Don’t override your gut to avoid awkwardness. Don't overexplain.Notice the First Signal
Real fear doesn’t shout. It whispers. Learn to catch that first flicker. It could be the hairs on your neck standing up or your chest tightening, your throat drying. Whatever it is, be aware.Strengthen Awareness
Try this exercise: next time you’re out walking, notice everything you can. Where's the closest exit? What's the body language of the people around? See where your attention drifts. You’ll be surprised what you start to pick up.
Trust your inner survival mechanism. Because the chances are they know best.
Join us again in two weeks for more insights on how martial arts can empower your daily life.
Until then, keep fighting to flourish. Oss.
Cover photo by Patrik László on Unsplash.